Just One Night
by Sunset Dreaming
Summary: A/H. Contains abuse! Bella's father begins abusing her after her mother abondons them for Phil. Although one night is different than any other, Charlie can't take anymore of Bella so he leaves her... What will become of her life? Full summary inside.
1. Sleepless Nights

**Just One Night**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**Warning: Story involves quite a lot of abuse! You've been warned. Hopefully it will come out of that in the end.**

**Summary: A/H. Bella's father begins abusing her after her mother abondons them for Phil. Although one night is different to all the others, Charlie can't take anymore of her so he "gets rid of her" There are things she still doesn't know and a person Renee and Charlie are hiding from her, who is he and why are they hiding him? Eventually, does meeting Edward and his family change things for her? **

**BPOV**

**Chapter 1:Sleepless nights**

22 December.

"Please dad!" I screamed as he grabbed me by my neck and threw me across the table in the living room.

"Don't you dad me you ungratefull child" He whispered menacingly, running down to me and grabbing my collar and haulling me up to him.

"Please," I whimpered, even though I knew it was a useless attempt, he wouldn't ever give in to my begging and my pleas but I never stopped.

"You know what?" He whispered. "I don't know why I even bother with you." He continued.

He dropped me onto the floor and stormed up the stairs, leaving me limp on the floor. I lay there my face pressed against the cold floor and wept silently. It was my fault, I heated the food twice and couldn't heat it again by the time he came back.

I didn't have the energy or strength to go upstairs and change or have a shower. I have to go to school tomorrow, Forks High. It is not going to be anything new, the "Freak" that's what I'm known as or "Loner". They were right of course, I was everything they said I was. Why, you may ask yourself, did I put up with this life.

For one I have nowhere to go, no one to love me, and if I told anyone who is going to believe that the chief of police would abuse his daughter. To this small town Charlie was a saint. Only I knew the truth. I fell into an uneasy sleep, with nightmares of Charlie.

23 December.

I woke up with a sore neck, because my head was propt up against the wall, where I had fallen asleep on the ground. I couldn't remember clearly what had happened.

I grabbed onto the leg of a table and tried to stand. The events of last night came flooding back, making me stumble. I was in so much pain, but I had to tough it out. I stumbled upstairs and didn't bother looking in the mirror for I knew what I would see. My scars and my bruises.

I knew I had to hide all the evidence of abuse. I showered as quickley as possible, which was hard, I felt like I couldn't move. I lathered my hair with my strawberry scented shampoo and scrubbed my body.

I wrapped the towel around my myself, opened the door and looked down the hallway to see if Charlie was here. When I was sure he had left for work, I went into my room. I opened my wardrobe pulled out a big hoodie, I didn't even know who owned it. When Renee was here, she said it wasn't Charlie's. Maybe I was imagening things, but she was very reluctant to answer when I asked who's it was.

I put that hoodie on, grabbed some baggy jeans and went up to the mirror, to do my make up.

I put some foundation and concealer on, to cover some bruises. I had a scar on my shoulder, from when I came home late from school, because of wouldn't hear me out, like always. I was never right. I was wrong and he was right. If I didn't remember that he would remind me. Bruises covered almost every inch of my body, and I can't help but blame Renee, my mom. It was her fault.

When I was done, I went downstairs grabbed a nutrition bar and an apple, then left for school in my beat up old, red-in most parts- Chevy that I loved so much. In the truck, I got a fright from the roar of the engine, because the house was so quite. I put my ear phones in and started blaring Face down by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

Today was the last day of school, because of the Christmas and New Years Day two week was no fun to me, because the last three Christmas's were spent with Charlie, and none of them were good, because he always came home drunk and the rest you can figure out. I kept listening to Face down until I got to the school parking lot.

_Do you feel like a man?_

_When you push her around?_

_Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?_

School was just like any other day. I was walking down the hallway, when Lauren Mallory, the slut of our school, well that's what I called her, walked up to everyone else, she was the head cheerleader of the school, and held the best parties with the best drinks.

She knocked my books out of my hands and they fell with a thud.

"Watch it, virgin!" she screached in her high nasaly voice, attracting alot of attention, that I hated and did _not _need.

I knealt down to pick my books up, only to have them kicked about. When I finally had them, I got up and rushed to my locker, before the bell could ring.

"Oh my God! Did you guys like, here about the Cullen's coming here?" Jessica asked her little pose or clique, whichever. I tried to ignore them but they weren't exactly whispering.

"No way! I heard they were coming from LA! I mean, like, seriously, who would like leave LA and come to a stupid small town?" Tanya Denally agreed with her.

I ignored the rest of their conversation, and left to go to my first class, English. I loved it, it was my favourite subject. My worst? That would be P.E since I was so uncordinated. I was such a klutz. If I didn't hurt myself I hurt those around me, and I hated it. It didn't do good, with the whole trying to blend in thing.

As if to make it worse, girls in my class were gossiping about, as I recently figured, Edward and Emmett Cullen, the two brothers. They were moving to Forks and will be attending Forks High. That was quite a relief of some sort to me, only because it meant that there would be someone else for everybody in this school to talk about.

During the girls little chat though the boys were glaring. I was not glad that today was a half day, I didn't want to go "home". I liked my timetable. Well, exept my last class (p.e.) but I wouldn't mind that in comparrison to Charlie. _Anything_ was better than that.

The only classes I'll be having is up to Art. Then it's a two week break. Can't wait(note the heavy sarcasm). The rest of my day flew by, just because I didn't want it to end.

I got home, but Charlie wasn't there. I did my homework really quick, then decided to make some lasagne for Charlie and I. I waited until until 6:00 but Charlie didn't come home so I ate. After I finished, I washed my plate and glass. I was too tired so I decided to go to bed early.

It felt like I had only slept a few minutes before I woke up. I didn't know why, maybe it was the rain pelting the windows. I lay on my back for a while then heard noise in the kitchen downstairs. I knew it was Charlie, but didn't want to go down. If I didn't though, he would bring me down by force and I knew that.

As I got down the last step, I saw Charlie stumble over to the table with his lasagne. I sat in front of him across the table.

"It's cold," he sneered.

"I...I..I.." I stuttered. Everything happened so fast. He slammed his fist onto the table and I flinched. Next thing I knew I was trying to dodge the knife coming towards me. Only when I moved it hit my shoulder that wasn't scarred, but now is. I felt a gushing pain, it had definitely gone deep. Of course, just when I thought that was it, Charlie flung his chair back and stormed down to me.

"Get out of my house! You stupid, idiotic girl, can't keep up with simple directions!Like keep the bloody food warm. Do I ask for much? NO I DON'T!" he yelled. All this while grabbing me by my hair, opening the door and throwing me onto the ground.

I fell over the porch step and onto the pebbles, cutting my knees and the palms of my hands. I started sobbing.

"Oh SHUT up!" he shouted, crying was forbidden to Charlie. "You are just like your mom and that stupid boy". He started cussing then slammed door. I could hear him smashing things inside.

I sat there for a while not knowing where to go. Then it hit me I couldn't sit here, I had to move. I tried to stand only to fall. I crawled for a bit, then the fear of Charlie coming to get me made me try harder.

I started walking down a few blocks, until I couldn't walk anymore. I found a curb and sat. It was so cold and I was feeling numb. My only source of light was the moon and a few lamp posts. The path was sparkling and completely frozen. It started to snow.I couldn't feel anything.

It felt like I had been sitting there for hours, so I gave up, I didn't fight the cold and I gave into the fear. I pulled my knees up to my chest, put my hands around them and put my head down on my knees, my hair splaying out around me. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore.

Soon I saw headlights coming my way. Who knew what kind of people were out there this late at night, but I didn't care. _Nothing _could be as bad as what my fath-that _man _did to me. The car slowed until it was a mere few feet from me.

I heard the door open then shut and footsteps coming my way. Here it goes, I thought, my ending. I shut my eyes tight, hoping this would end quickly.

"Excuse me, miss?" A velvety voice asked. I lifted my head and looked into the deepest of emerald green pools.


	2. Collide

**A/N: SONG for chapter is Collide by Howie Day. Listen to it while reading, it's amazing. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**Thank you so much for all the favouriting, the alerts and the reviews they mean a lot, I love to know what you guys think :) **

**Chapter two:Collide**

**EPOV**

"Alice, please would you just give it a break? All they were, were stupid heels. It's not like we haven't got the money. We have it, and extra and you of all people know that," I said while backing up against the wall in my room, seeing as she was stalking towards me, with a glare that I was pretty sure would end anybodys life.

Sure, she was pretty pixie short but damn, when that girl is angry, it's sure as hell scary. OK, so I was in my room, laying on my bed reading Wuthering Heights in peace. Unfortunately that peace didn't last long, because Alice stormed in yelling about how I was such a dick for throwing her heels out the balcony, that just so happens to look out to a river in our mansion of a house in the middle of no where.

I am not always like that, trust me I try my best to stay on Alice's good side. But she completely past the line when she tried her whole 'match-making' thing again. She always does and sometimes I don't know if the real reason is because she thinks I'm 'lonely'. She just finds it fun, but maybe I'm wrong_. I _on the other hand _don't_ find it fun at all. What got me pissed this time was she was trying to set me up with _Victoria _of all people.

I didn't like Alice interfirring with my love life, or lack there of, let alone setting me up with Victoria. Simply put, Victoria always made me uncomfortable. What with the stares and the flirting, the scimpy clothes, the girl couldn't take a hint. I was always trying to avoid her. Alice basically threw me to the sharks when she set me on a surprise date with _her. _So, I got back at her, the only way I could think of, clothes and shoes; basically Alice's life.

"I can't believe you Edward. All I did was try and help you, and what do you do? You throw my heels out the balcony into a_ bloody river_. Ugh!," she screamed.

"You asked for it Alice," I replied calmly.

"I repeat. I-was-trying-to-help-you," she said slowly like I was completely dimwitted.

"I-don't-need-your-help," I retorted in the same tone. Which was a really bad idea. Suddenly, her small pixie form launched at me. I laughed. I mean, me with my eight pack (don't mean to brag) against a tiny pixie. Not that I would ever lay a finger on Alice or any girl for that matter. That just wasn't me, not the way my loving parents Carlisle and Esme raised me.

Emmett my big bear of a brother ran into the room and tried-after laughing real hard at the sight of us, might I add-to get Alice off of me. When he did she started trying to break free from Emmett's grip on her, to no avail. Once in Emmett's arms, you will not be let free until he let you. What with his over-the-top muscles that actually scared people away a lot of the time. He was quite intimidating.

Underneath that though, he was a real goof.

"OK," Emmett boomed, setting Alice down on by bed, though she was still glaring at me. Oh no, here comes one of Emmett's " I'll solve the problem " speaches. Which let me tell you often do _not_ work. Here we go.

"So what is the problem dear sister of mine?" Emmett asked Alice, who was fuming.

"Well, that douche over there...," she said, pointing at me, "Took _my _high heels and flung them out the _balcony_, and I need them for the Christmas Eve party tomorrow! What am I supposed to wear?"

"Alice I didn't exactley enjoy Victoria all over me. Actually I almost hurled, thanks to you. That could have been avoided, but noooo you just had to _help_. Do you know what I said Alice, to get away from her? I said I had a terrible disease that had no cure and that I didn't want her to catch it," Emmett cracked up real hard after I said that and I glared at him.

"Yeah, she ran off screaming Alice," I continued.

"Whatever," she mumbled.

"Right, so um.." Emmett that helps dude, thanks. I rolled my eyes. Suddenly Emmett's eyes grew wide and I knew he had one of his 'amazing ideas'.

"OK Edward you go shopping with Alice right now and get her new shoes," Emmett said with a big smirk on his face.

"No way," I said at the same time Alice stood up from the bed and started jumping up and down clapping, while chanting, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes," over and over again.

Shopping with Alice was like asking to have your legs chopped off, what with all the walking she makes you do. I was going to refuse, but then Alice gave me those cute puppy dog eyes that she knew I couldn't resist.

"Please Edward," she said looking up at me with those big sea blue eyes, getting all watery and cute and I coudn't help it, I gave in.

"Ugh! Fine OK I'll go, but you have to let me finish the chapter I was reading before you interupted. And _you_ Emmett will pay for this," I said giving him a pointed glance.

He of course just laughed, gave me a mock punch in the shoulder and left. Alice left suite mumbling about the perfect dress that would go with her heels. Arguing with Alice never worked, she always won. Emmett was annoying and so was Alice but for that I loved them even more.

I went to my massive stereo system where I had my shelves of CD's from my favourite bands and different artists. I put in a random one and Debussy's Clair de lune started playing. I sighed and sat on my bed to finish the chapter I had been reading.

Though my mind kept drifting over to my brother and sister and how they had found their significant other. How I always seem to get girls either for my looks or my money. I didn't like it. Being lonely. Alice was right. I wanted to find a girl to truely love and for her to love me back, yet that seemed like it was to hard to find.

Alice had Jasper. At first I didn't like it, I mean Jazz is my friend and Alice is my sister. I wasn't all smiles about things at first. But then I could see Alice really did love Jasper and well, I couldn't deny that he would do anything for her. I trusted him.

Emmett had Rosalie. They were perfect for eachother. He was a goof and she had control and just put him in his place at times, like I said perfect. Rose was really good with cars and that only made Emmett fall more in love with her, like he would tell me over and over. And there was no doubt that he loved her more than anything.

Alice and Rose were best friends since Infantsy. Infact all of us were, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, Ally and I, we were really close and still are. Now, after the two week break all of us will be attending Forks High, in tiny rainy town Forks. Em and Rose will be seniors while Alice, Jazz and I are juniors. I'm sure we were the talk of the town, it was so small news would pass before you could say mint-chocolate chip ice-cream.

I wanted to find the girl that was meant for me, my significant other, and if I didn't find her in LA she had to be here, right? Ugh, I shook my head, thinking to much actually _does_ hurt. I finished the chapter, marked the page I had gotten to and turned the music off. I looked out the glass side of my room, to see snow it was really dark and the trees in the forest were covered in the white fluff. Perfect I muttered to myself, this weather was perfect to go shopping in.

It was really late. Maybe I could convince Alice to wear one of her other heels? Yeah right I agreed to this, now I have to go. No backing out.

Alice and I grabbed our jackets and wrapped up real well, it was snowing after all. But Alice could care less, when it comes to shopping she will go weather there is hale, rain or snow.

When we were seated in my silver Volvo (which I loved). Pff! Edward that sure is something. A car? Seriously I want more than that. Alice started flipping through different songs stopping on Come back when you can by Barcelona. I loved this song, but it was so sad. Alice started humming along to the song.

"_I used to be love, drunk but now I'm hungover," _Alices phone started blaring, half way through the ride to the mall.

"Hey Rose. Yeah, but no I...Rose I have to get new shoes, you know that I told you before why. Ok? Ugh, fine but you have to give me a pair. I need them for tomorrow. Yeah, s'okay I'll see you then. bye," Alice said then snapped the phone shut.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"Rose says that she _really _needs me to come over right now. She apparently doesn't know what to get for Emmett. She's desperate seeing as Christmas Eve _is _tomorrow.

"So?" I asked.

"So I need you to drop me off at Roses' house and she is giving me a pair of heels for tomorrow," she replied in a matter of fact tone. I took the next left instead of the right. Rose lived a few blocks down from the chief of police Charlie Swan. I parked the car to the side so Alice could get out. She got out of the car, and I watched waiting until she reached the door way.

"Oh wait," she said running back and knocking on the window. I got it down and she leaned in.

"You're forgiven by the way. Just please don't do it again. _Ever. _I won't interfere again, just please atleast let me know you're trying when we start school," she said.

"Yep, fine Alice. But trust me, I do try. Anyway, do you want to go now before Rose has a mental breakdown?" I said looking up and smirking at her. She laughed and ran off, up to the Rosalie's door, where she was standing, tapping her foot impatiently.

I decided to take the road that goes straight out of this neighborhood, instead of turning back. It was faster. It was hard to drive through all the snow and ice. I loved driving fast but I couldn't right now. While half way through the neighborhood and just about to head out on to the main road, I saw a young lady? Women? Girl? I didn't know.

She was sitting on a curb, all curlled up and looking completley fragile. In _very _thin, ripped up clothes. She looked so...broken. I couldn't just leave her there, so I slowed to a stop a few feet from her. I got out and walked up to her curlled up, small form. When I reached her I could see, from where her clothes were ripped, bruises and that was only from the rips in her clothes, I didn't know if there was more and I didn't want to think that there was. It was hard to even look at her.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Was this girl planning on staying here? And for how long?Well she definitely will not stay out in the cold and alone two days before Christmas.

"Excuse me, miss?" I said looking down at her, afraid to get too close and scare her.

The girl lifted her head off of her knees and looked up at me. My eyes met with the deepest most beautiful chocolate brown eyes. If I thought _she_ looked broken her eyes looked like they had been through too much. But...they were...um, I don't know hooded, clouded in a way. Like she was there but not really. She had dry tear marks running down her face, it was heart breaking. I didn't even know this girl, yet hated having to look at her this way.

I kneeled down infront of her. Oh God, what do I do. I don't want to scare her, but I want to help her. Do I introduce myself? I mean the girl looks like she's in pain, maybe I should just bring her to Carlisle, he can check on her.

"Um...Well, what are you doing on your own, out here in this cold? Shouldn't you be with your family or something? Tomorrow _is_ Christmas Eve." God, I sound so stupid. Now she'll definitley think I'm some real creep.

What I didn't expect, was for her to start crying. Great Edward, you _are_ dick you made her cry. I opened my arms just slightly, I wanted to comfort her, but that would be odd considering I don't even know her. My hesitance didn't last long, because the next thing I knew the girl had just collapsed into my arms. Maybe I don't have a choice anymore, I will get her home to Carlisle. I carried her bridal style to my car, her head on my shoulder. I put her in the passenger seat and buckled her up.

I ran to my side,and didn't bother with _trying_ to drive slow, all I knew was I had to get her to Carlisle and fast. She kept crying and it was agonizing, I wanted to stop her pain or whatever it was that was hurting her. I wanted to _kill_ it. Whatever _it_ was. Her sobbing hadn't quietened down and it was frightening me more and more.

I was speeding down the road, my only thought was getting her to Carlisle right now.

"Please, please," she whimpered when I was slowing the car to finally park in the garage. Please what? What was wrong with her? Thinking she was in pain or something, I got out of the car really fast. I ran to her side and opened the door, intending on carrying her out since she didn't look capable of standing let alone walking.

Although I certainley did not expect her to flinch away from me. I mean didn't I just carry her into my car? Or did she not want that? She _did _fall into my arms. Well, what was I thinking? The girl is obviously terrified of me, I am a stranger after all that just so happens to put her in his car and drive off, and is now standing in a dark garage. For all she knew, I was some rapist, probabely. God, I'm an idiot, but I'm an idiot that has to try.

"Look, I'm sorry if I'm scaring you. Really I only want to help you, honestly. If you can walk then I will walk as far away from you as you want, just please. My dad is a doctor he can help you. If you want," I added as an after thought, just so she had an option. But I really just wanted to get her inside, and warm, instead of sitting there shivering from the biting cold.

"How can he help?" she asked her voice breaking as she tried to hide the huskiness from all the crying she did. That only made me want her inside that much more. Although she didn't seem to be waiting for an answer, because as she said this she tried to get out of the car, only to collapse, yet again. I reached out to catch her, wrapping my arms around her waist, but letting go immediately after she visibly stiffened.

"No, it's okay. I can't actually... walk." she mumbled. I walked back over to her, keeping a hand on the small of her back.

"Dad. Mom." I called as we walked in. I got her to lie on one of the couches, as I heard my parents walking down the stairs.

"Edward, what is it? You know I'm busy with..." his voice cut off as he saw the girl laying there on the couch. She looked so tired, her eyes were drooping but she was so obviously trying to fight it.

"Oh my," Esme gasped as she also caught sight of the girl. I was tired of reffering to her as 'The Girl' I wanted a name. But there were more important things to care for. Her name I will have time to find out later, along with everything there was to know about this girl. Esme went walking towards the kitchen mumbling about getting a moist towel for the girl. When she did return to take care of her I looked at Carlisle and nodded towards the hall. He nodded in return and followed me out.

"Edward, who _is_ that girl?" he asked. Great, Carlisle had to ask _that_.

"Um, well I actually _don't_ know," I said dropping head suddenly finding my converse very interesting. That _did_ sound weird though. I mean I brought a girl home, not in the sense that she's my girlfriend or anything, I just never bring girls home. All the ones my dear sister set me up with were always out some place, but never brought home. So I tried to explain.

"Well, you see I was supposed to go shopping with Alice, then she got a call and I dropped her off at Rose's. Then while driving, I found this girl sitting on a curb curled up, and well, I couldn't leave her there. She looked like she was in pain Carlisle, so I brought her here thinking maybe you could help her." I said looking up at him to see him frowning slightly.

"Okay I will see what I can do. But this is wrong Edward, the girl has parents she can't stay here long, but I assure you I will do all I can to help her." he said glancing up at me. I could see that even though he didn't really approve of me bringing the girl here knowing there was someone out there worried about her. Yet I couldn't help but think that if some one was out there. Why would they just leave her? Could she not have gotten help or something?

"That's all I'm asking dad. Thank you." I replied. The both of us walked back into the room where mom and the girl were.

The first thing I saw was, Esme sitting on the couch next to the girl, holding the moist towel on her, shoulder? Why her shoulder? Then, as we got closer I noticed the big blotch of blood on her shoulder and a really big scar that seemed new. I wanted to hurt whoever did it to her. I sat on the floor next to her and Carlisle came and stood behind Esme, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Are feeling okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine Esme was just taking care of my shoulder," she said while giving Esme a warm smile. But she wasn't fine I could see that she was exhausted. Maybe she was fine physically, but I could still see the pain in her eyes. And I could see that she was trying to hide it, but either I'm quiet perceptive or she wasn't good at hiding her emotions. I would go with the latter seeing as Esme and Carlisle both could tell she was lieing and was very bad at it.

Atleast she seemed to be at ease, maybe we could let her rest then Carlisle can check on her tomorrow, she could use a shower and a change of clothes though. And as if reading my mind, Esme took care of it.

" Bella why don't you come up with me? And maybe I can find you something of Alice's you could wear," Esme said. Bella. I loved it, it was beautiful and definitely suited her. Sure she may have looked messed up, but she wasn't ugly or even anywhere close to it. _She_ was beautiful. But, oh my God, why am I even thinking that? Because you're an idiot. No I'm not. Yes you are. Not. Yes you are . Great now I'm having conversations with myself, just perfect.

"Yeah that would be nice, thank you," she said in a soft yet rasp voice, from all her crying.

Esme had cleaned up Bella's face from, the tear marks and her hair was out of her face, but that only made her look even more beaut- no I don't know this girl. Great now we are back to 'this girl'. I was brought back to reality as Bella tried to stand. She was just about to take her first step but then stumbled and gave me the benefit of getting to hold her. Woah. Hold her? I reached out and grabbed her waist to steady her. Her eyes were shut closed, like she was waiting for something to happen. She looked up at me after a while, and I smiled. She blushed a pure red, I was going to laugh but that wouldn't be nice, but I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Are you okay?" I asked looking down at her. She blushed even a darker shade of red.

"Yeah I'm fine. That's just my thing," she replied. Her thing huh?

"You always fall into peoples arms?" I asked smirking. And believe it or not she was getting redder by the moment.

"N-no," she stuttered. "I'm a klutz, it's my thing to fall over a lot. Only nobody catches me, ever," she frowned and it seemed like her sentence had a different meaning to it. I was about to ask but Esme decided to intervene.

"Coming Bella?" she asked while heading for the staircase.

"Yeah," Bella whispered and got out of my arms to follow Esme. Strangely they felt empty, even though in the back of my mind I knew they shouldn't.

Carlisle decided to go back up to his study. I guess I called him down for no reason, sort of. But I will make sure that he will take care of Bella tomorrow.

I sat on the couch Bella was sitting on, it was the warmest. Yeah right Edward, keep telling yourself that. Okay, I might of, kind of, sort of been sitting there because, it smelled like her. Perfect I'm obsessing over a girl I don't even know anything about, apart from her name.

Ugh, this is not the Edward I once was, but now that I think of it, I don't think I want to go back to the old Edward, I rather prefer the new one even if he _is_ going to obsesse over a girl. But she wasn't just any girl, she was special, she was beautiful, she captivated me, she's...everything. All that from merely catching her, looking at her and knowing her. I was certainly going mad, but I was certainly loving it too.

My thoughts were interupted, by the door bell ringing. I trudged down the hall to answer.

"Come on already, it isn't very warm out here and I don't plan on becoming an ice block." I heard Alice's small voice mumble on the outside. I opened the door really quickly and she jumped in, desperate to get out of the cold, and to think Bella was out in this. Again my thoughts keep going back to Bella.

"Ugh!" she said while a shiver ran through her body. She pulled off her jacket- which I'm sure is some special make- put it on the banister and ran upstairs, to change into something dry I'm sure. I sat in the sitting room with the tv turned on even though if you asked me what was on I wouldn't know, my thoughts were drifting back to Bella yet again.

How come she was outside on her own? How did she get that deep gash on her shoulder? Would she tell me if I wanted to know? Do I _want_ to know?

What am I thinking? Of course I want to know and I want to help her as much as I can. If she lets me, I _will_. Millions of questions and no answers of thinking about Bella, Alice came down dressed in pajamas, a robe and some fluffly slippers.

"Edward, who is that girl?" she asked sitting next to me. "She is sleeping in one of the guest rooms, and gave me the fright of my life." she said while glaring at me like I'm the one that put her there.

"Oh and she's wearing _my_ clothes," she said fuming. I realised that I should really calm her down before she actually did something to the poor girl. I cleared my throat and tried to tell her what I knew, which wasn't much.

"Yeah um, I found her sitting on a curb after I dropped you off and well, I brought her home." I said. She gave me an 'Are you crazy?' look. Now that I think about it I see how that doesn't sound right, it even sounded stupid to me.

"No, no that's not what I meant. I found her there and she was... hurt so I brought her here so dad could take care of her. Then she got tired and Esme offered to help her with a change of clothes and a bed." I said as understanding filled her eyes.

"Oh," she replied. "Well is she okay?"

"I don't know Carlisle will check her tomorrow."

There was a long silence. It wasn't awkward or anything. Alice and I understand eachother we don't always have to fill silences, but she felt something was up.

"I couldn't stand it Alice," I said my voice strained while looking out the big window at the snow. "I don't even know her, yet, I feel like I should be with her, like I should take care of her and not even in the same way Carlisle is going to take care of her. I'm scared Alice it's not normal, I don't _feel _normal. I shouldn't feel like this, yet when I think back to how she looked I want to rip whoever it was that hurt her to shreds. She is in pain and I can see that, she tries to play it off saying she fine but she's not, the words roll off her tounge so easily, she always says them, that much is obvious but I don't fall for them and I don't like her feigning anything." I finally looked up at Alice to see her staring at me with, understanding? What the fuck? I don't get this.

I frowned and she just kept staring at me with a knowing look, and there was... there was a glint in her eyes.

"Go on," she whispered.

"Go on what Alice?" I asked." There is nothing more to say." Lie. She is beautiful I could talk about her beauty endlessly. As if on qeaue Alice asked in a whisper," Tell me what she looks like, to you."

"To me?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, I mean you don't see Jasper the way I see him obviously," she said jokingly.

"Yeah well there are no words," I said sighing.

"Awwww Eddie. You are in sooo deep." she said cooing at me, yeah fucking cooing when I just confessed to her... well _that_. Whatever that was. I looked away. "Come on Eddie don't be upset." she said still cooing, oh she's having fun.

"Don't call me Eddie," I said trough my teeth.

"Okay, okay chill. Take a chill pill." she replied cooly.

" I can't take a _'chill pill'_ Alice." I said now angry. I don't understand why I'm feeling like this.

"Okay I'm sorry," she said and she did sound sorry." Edward it's just that I know why you're feeling like this but I won't tell you because you won't like the answer," she whispered.

"When you're completely confused and don't understand your emotions or their messing with you, you know who to come to." she said with a small smile.

"Yeah sure, thanks sis, really. And yeah I'll come to you, who else do I go to, Emmett?" I said and we both start laughing. When we quited down Alice spoke in a serious tone.

"It's okay to feel the way you do Edward, it's confusing and scary even frustrating at times but when you finally understand what it is, when you get the big picture? You'll wish you had done it sooner." she said still smiling. Then she got up.

"I'm going to bed and I hope to meet this Bella girl," she said with a glint in her eyes, that could not be good. "Goodnight Edward and don't overthink things."

"Goodnight Ally." I mumbled. Don't overthink things? That's impossible."That's my thing" I repeated the words Bella had said earlier. I went up to my room, sat at the piano and played a few tunes until sleep caught up with me.

I lay in my bed thinking. Yeah that's almost all I have done since Bella walked into my life or did I walk into hers, either way when I finally drifted off to dreamland, they were dreams of the beautiful girl sleeping not two doors down from me.


	3. So Far Away

**Song for Chapter: So Far Away by Staind.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**Whoo! 2011! Happy New Year everybody :)**

**Chapter Three: So Far Away **

**BPOV**

"Now honey, if you need anything else, or if I forgot to give you something, then you just call me I will only be in the next room, okay?" Esme asked as she handed me a change of clean clothes and some shampoo and a toothbrush.

She was such a nice, loving women and always gave off this really motherly feel, when I was around her. That's saying something because, well, I havn't had a mother in... a really long time I guess.

"Thank you, Esme. Really I won't need anything more," I said giving her a small smile. She smiled and left me to clean off.

I turned to figure my suroundings and was met with a very large bedroom. It was quiet obvious that this family was rich, what with the massive house, amazing design, and well everything about the house screams rich. I'm beginning to think that this was the Cullens home. But if it was, weren't there two brothers?

I got the water running and hot then got to showering. I lathered my hair in some rasberry scented shampoo, and scrubbed myself clean.

Where do I sleep? It doesn't feel right to take over somebody elses home. I really am glad that boy had saved me. Oh, that boy wasn't even a boy, he was Adonis in the flesh. His bronze hair, and deep, emereld eyes, perfect jaw line, high cheeck bones and flawless face, beautiful he was _beautiful _and I could go on forever. But that didn't matter because I'm not even supposed to be thinking that.

What is wrong with me? Why am I thinking that a guy I don't even know, is beautiful? Well I can't deny the fact that he is but that still doesn't give me a right to think that.

I let the warm water relax me, soothe me, as much as possible. I wanted my mom and dad, not the dad that abused me, not the mom that left me and didn't know a thing about me, I wanted my old loving parents. My attempts at trying to remember how my life used to be were futile. It was useless and I had given up on that a long time ago, when I realised that Charlie was not going to change and I was to blame for my mother leaving.

Although I couldn't help but think that it wasn't entirely my fault, because the night that everything changed I had just been helping mom get the dinner ready. When we had finally sat to have dinner, she said something, something that changed all of our lives but ruined mine. I don't think she was even thinking of me because she just broke it to us and argued with Charlie then left, and ever since then I havn't seen her, don't know anything about her.

I realised I must have been in here for far too long but Esme was too nice to say anything, if she was still there. I shut the water, grabbed the towel and hopped out almost falling but caught onto the sink. Somethings just don't go away.

I grabbed the clothes that I had put by the sink, consisting of too short shorts and a tank top that said 'Beauty Sleep' on it. I doubt Esme would wear something like this, but I silently thanked her anyway. I didn't want to wear something too revealing, I felt ugly with the bruises and scars hidden, I wasn't going to feel good showing them to everybody.

People ask questions, it's like a reflex reaction when they notice things that are just so blatenly obvious. And I wasn't expecting Esme to be any different. Don't get me wrong Esme has been an amazing person since I first saw her but people can be curious.

When I was fully dressed I took a deep breath and put my hand on the door nob, not like I can stay in here forever, although that does sound apealing right now. I stood in the hallway, there were so many doors and Esme had said she was in the next room. I never thought I would see the day where I would get lost in a house, although in my defense this place is more of a_ mansion_.

There were five rooms on my right going down the hall and across from that there were four rooms and on the far side there was another stair case, behind me was the staircase that led me to the first floor, so basically three floors and lets hope that there isn't another staircase up there. I don't want to go down I can hear the television and I didn't want to go down and give whoever was there a show of my bruises when that can be avoided. I sighed.

"Esme," I whispered. I stood there feeling so weird, it was like talking to yourself. I only whispered but my voice echoed slightly in the silence.

"Esme," I called again a little louder. I heard a noise and turned in the direction it came from. Esme stepped out of the third door on my left, she motioned for me to join her. I walked into the room. It was huge just like about everything else in this house. When I first stepped in the first thing I noticed was the wall sized glass covering the wall when you first walk in. It was beautiful, it looked out onto the greeness of Forks and a river that seemed to run on and on until it dissapeared behind the forest.

There was a big king sized bed in the centre of the room with two small bedside tables on either side of it and a plush, warm carpet that sunk in when you stepped on it, so comfortable. My revery was broken by the sense of being watched, I turned and found Esme still standing by the door, staring at my arms and legs and my now very revealed shoulder. When she noticed me looking at her she looked away quickly but I had already noticed her watching me. I was hurt but I did not expect the reaction I got. I heard Esme sniffle.

"Esme," I whispered, she still wouldn't turn.

"It's fine, you can look I don't mind," I said but I did mind I just didn't want her to think that she can't talk to me like she was when I first came in and all she knew I had was a sore shoulder. She turned to face me slowly and from the faint light coming from the moon, I noticed a sparkle at the corner of her eye. She was crying?

"Oh Bella," she said her voice breaking. I definitely did not expect this. I walked to her slowly and stood infront of her. Do I hug her? She didn't give me a chance to contemplate. She grabbed me into a tight hug making me wince slightly. She noticed and let me go apologising profusely. I wasn't going to cry, not now, not infront of Esme.

"You poor thing." she said pulling me to her more gently. That and she didn't know how I got these bruises, I was not going to say anything right now. As if Esme read my mind she decided to leave me to rest.

"You must be exhausted," she said walking to the door. "You can rest here," she said pointing at the large bed."Do call if you need anything, anything at all." Then she was gone and the door shut. I stood in the centre of the room, staring out at the moon and scattered stars. I hadn't noticed before but next to the oversized walk in closet there was a large bathroom.

I walked to the bed and sat at the edge of it. I felt like I was going to explode. Even though Charlie was gone for now, how was I to know he hadn't gone looking for me. If not for my own good then to hurt me more. How do I get away from that if he trys again. I can't stay with this family forever and I knew that but it felt right to stay. Again why am I thinking that? Because ever sinse I walked or more like stumbbled in to this house I have felt a lot of things. One being that it felt right, perfect when I fell into that boys arms, and when he wrapped his arms around my waist. I felt safe.

The tears I had been holding in when Esme was here spilled over. I said I wasn't going to cry and here I am doing the exact opposite.

I lifted the covers and crawled into the bed, and it sunk in with my weight. I lay in the middle and sobbed silently. I always lay in the middle of a bed, I felt as safe as I could possibly ever be. Like the bed could swollow me up and I wouldn't have to worry about reality, or any problems.

I pushed my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I turned to my right to face the glass wall. I drifted off to sleep while I was gazing out at the moon.

**(Bella's dream)**

_I was in the same dark room and I could hear the shouting and screaming, I slid down the door or wall in the room and put my hands up to my ears to block out the noise, it didn't help. I might as well have been asking them to shout louder. It was pitch black and I couldn't even see my fingers infront of me. But I could sense a presense behind me and whoever it was put a hand on my shoulder. I opened my mouth to scream, but whoever it was put a hand over my mouth and the sound came out muffled._

_I thrashed and tried to scream again, but the person that was holding onto me was still behind me, with each arm wrapped around each side of me, keeping me from turning. I started sobbing and sobbing. _

_I ran __**from **__that room to get away, to hide, not to be ... well I don't know what this person was doing or going to do to me, but I didn't like it and I wanted to be let go._

_"Please, Please," I begged while still crying. "Let me go." Nothing, the person didn't even budge, didn't breathe like he was holding his breath, but why?_

_"Sssh." he said. No, what was he going to do to me? Who was he? His grip tightened on me._

_"Who are you?" I asked my voice noticeably breaking._

_"I am-" _

I woke up gasping. I looked around me, where was I? I took in my surroundings and everything came rushing back to me and I cried. I cried because I was scared, I cried because everything was wrong, my life was wrong, I cried because of that nightmare, I cried because I had to but most of all I just cried because I wanted _him_. I wanted him and he wasn't there.

But I _shoudn't_ want him because it's wrong and I don't know him. And I wanted to be in his arms but I wanted to do it on purpose and not _fall _into them. I wanted him to hold me and I didn't want to have to have the bed keep me safe because it wasn't even doing that much.

.

I don't know his name, but I want to. I don't know him. I'm not allowed need him but I do and it scares me. But I'm plain and broken and have too much baggage, no guy would want that and he's Adonis so he _definitely _won't want that.

I had the same dream I always have but there was something, no somebody new in it. I didn't like this person, but he wouldn't let me go, all I wanted to do was get away from everything and he had to come along and basically just hold me, but it made me uncomfortable and I wanted to run some place else, anywhere away from him.

I looked out and realised it was still dark outside, the clock above the bed said it was 4:30 AM I had only gotten three and a half hours of sleep. I had to try to sleep. Again, like before, I turned to face the glass in the middle of the bed like it will always be.

But I _couldn't _sleep.

My thoughts kept running back to _him_. I don't know if I should have been worried about this, but I was relishing in it, just the simple thought of him.

My eyes started drooping, and I knew I was going to fall asleep but this time and the first time in almost years, I slept without nightmares. It would have been better with him there, but I couldn't ask for more if he was going to be in my dreams. If that's all I'm getting then I'm willing to take it.

And so I dreamed of him.

**A shout out to whoever can guess who it was in Bella's nightmare :) **


	4. Anywhere But Here

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does**

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews, alerts and the favouriting :)**

**Song for chapter: Anywhere but here by Mayday Parade**

**Chapter Four: Anywhere But Here**

**BPOV**

I woke up to the rain pelting the glass wall, typical Forks weather. I looked at the clock and groaned, it was 7:30 AM. I hadn't slept much at all and I really wanted to.

I lay there for a while, staring at the ceiling with a smile on my face. Yes, Bella Swan was smiling. I can't remember the last time I smiled, a real smile and not one I was forced to wear.

I had dreamed of him, and he was just as beautiful in my dreams as he was in real life. And if dreaming of him put a smile on my face, I wonder what would happen if I had the real him infront of me to ogle, and talk to, and maybe get to know.

I wasn't afraid to admit it though, I was very attracted to him but I was also getting frustrated with calling him 'him' I wanted a name to his angelic face.

Today was Christmas Eve. Was I going to spend it with this family? Would they let me? Do I want to? Well, of course I want to, but I don't know if they want me. I don't feel like intruding on any kind of family event, because technically I wasn't apart of the family in any way. I was just some silly, ugly, plain girl that a really handsome guy found sitting on a curb and brought home.

They are probably thinking I'm going to ruin everything for them. But I won't. If they want me to leave that's what I will do. I don't have anywhere to go, but I can't stay here, I won't be a burden to somebody else.

I heard a tap at the door and then a small pixie short girl came bounding over to me. She was far to bubbly at this time of day. She was wearing a simple yet beautiful spaghetti strap dress, that was red and black, it hugged her waist and then flowed out just above her knees, around her waist there was an intricate design of flowers and ivys all twirling together in black, and finished off the outfit with black stilettoes.

Her hair was short and sticking out in every direction. She should be in Vouge and I would be thoroughly surprised if she wasn't.

"So," she beamed. " You must be Bella."

"Uh y-yeah," I stuttered, not a good start.

"Well I'm Alice." she said smiling and practically jumping on top of me to hug me. She hurt me so much and she didn't even know it. I wasn't going to make her feel bad so I hugged her back just a little more gentle than she was. " I'm Edwards sister." Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward.

"Sorry, I didn't hear, what did you say?" Oh God. Please tell me I didn't just say his name out loud. I did, didn't I?

"Oh, um nothing I was just saying... yeah nothing really," I stuttered. What is wrong with me?

I didn't think she would believe me, and she didn't, she just pulled out of my arms and looked at me with raised eyebrows and a smirk, wow that smirk was just like his, I mean Edwards.

"Okay well I am going to give you an outfit to wear for today," she said while walking out the door.

"No, no really you don't-" she cut me off before I could protest.

"I want to Bella," she sighed. I sat there helplessly waiting for her. This family was extremely giving and that was something I was beginning to notice quickly.

She came back just a lttle while later with a handfull of clothes in one hand and a make up bag in the other. Oh no.

The clothes consisted of clean underwear, light wash skinny jeans, a midnight blue v-neck sweater with -my favourite- black converse. Like I said Vouge.

"Alice I can't wear this," I said shaking my head.

"Of course you can," she said looking at me like I just grew ten feet, then shoving the clothes into my hands. "I picked it out just for you."

"But-" she shot me a glare that clearly indicated 'end-of-conversation'. I waited until she had gone out saying that everybody was downstairs, until I got up and went to shower.

I showered quickly and hopped out, wrapping the towel around myself. Alice had left the make up bag on the bed. Was I supposed to do my own make up?

I thought it was going to be easy, until I actually opened the bag and found a million things that I didn't know the name of, let alone where to put them.

I checked if there was anyone in the hallway and there wasn't so I stepped out. I walked to the staircase and was going to shout down to get Alice up to help me but then I heard a lot of noise and a booming voice say, "Schtooop it." And then everybody downstairs laughing. I chuckled, but now that it was clear that everybody was down there I can't go down in a towel.

I turned to go back to the room and figure out what I was supposed to do on my own, but I ran into something and almost fell down the staircase untill that something wrapped an arm around my waist and caught me.

Oh my God please don't be Edward, not Edward. But it was pointless I _knew_ it was him, I didn't have to open my eyes, which were now still shut tightly. He bent his head down and tilted it so that his lips were just against my ear.

"You can open your eyes Bella," he whispered his lips lightly brushing against my ear, sending shivers all over my body. I gasped and opened my eyes quickly.

I was completely intoxicated by his proximaty but mostly just by _him_.

I couldn't get myself to leave his arms, until I thought about myself only in a towel and my scars and bruises very noticable.

I pulled away from him quickly and I thought I saw flash of pain in his eyes but he quickly composed himself.

"I-I-I. Thank you," I stuttered. Ugh, what is wrong with me? Oh yes, Edward was going to see every ugly part of me, _everything _was wrong. " I'm sorry," I said and turned to run to the room, before I started crying infront of him.

When I got in and turned to shut the door, the look on his face told me he had seen everything.

I shut it quickly and jumped onto the bed. I lay on my stomach crying, that was another reason why I could never be with him and he could never be with me, and it hurt to merely think that, but it was the truth. I lay there until I remembered there was a small party going on downstairs and Alice had told me to get ready. Screw the rest of the make up, I'll just put what I know on and forget the rest.

By the time I was done, I had eye liner on top of my eyelids, a little bit of masscara, and a faint red lip gloss. That was going to have to do because I didn't want anything too noticable. I had the outfit on, and I left my hair to cascade down my back after I blow dryed it, again Alice must have snuck it in while I was showering.

I didn't bother looking in the mirror because it really didn't matter. I walked out and down the stairs. I was just thinking about how I was so lucky I hadn't tripped or fallen yet coming down the stairs, until I reached the last step and me being me tripped over my own feet.

I was waiting to meet the floor, but big strong arms wrapped around me, only these were not Edward's and I knew it.

"Woah," he said. I looked up to a very big man. He had short, curly kind of hair and brown eyes just like mine, and was _very _buff. He was standing there beaming. I smiled and apologised.

"It's fine. Are you okay?" he asked putting me down. I stood up and straightened my clothes, well technically Alice's.

"Yeah I'm fine, just a klutz," I said smiling up at him. He laughed a booming laugh.

"Come on then, you must be Bella, I'm Emmett, Edward's brother and Jasper's brother from another mother. We were waiting for you." he said while walking to the sitting room. I followed but I feared that 'we' was going to be a lot of people.

When we walked into the living room I noticed that there was a tall beautiful blonde sitting on a couch next to Esme, and she beamed when she saw us or more like, when she saw Emmett.

Carlisle, I assume was sitting next to her and Alice and some guy with long messy, honey brown locks in his eyes and Edward were sitting on the carpet. I left Edward for last because I knew that if I looked at him I would get caught up in his eyes and not look away.

Only when I did look at Edward, _he_ wasn't looking at me. He was looking away, out the window and I didn't like it, for some reason I wanted him to look at me and give me that crooked smile of his, and I wanted to see his deep forest green eyes, I just wanted to see his face. But I wasn't expecting anything different after he saw my scars, and it angered me. I wasn't upset anymore I was mad.

I know I'm scarred and I didn't like it, I didn't ask for it either but when he does find out I'm scarred he looks away and doesn't even begin to consider how I might be feeling. Maybe I'm suffering? Maybe I'm not just physically hurt.

No, because when people see things they immediately judge, thats what their good at. How I deluded myself into thinking that Edward was any different I will never know. I guess I just had a little hope but now that's gone too.

As if feeling the intensity of my glare he turned to look at me. Oh, so now he notices I'm in the room. I quickly looked away and up to Emmett who was giving me a funny look so I quickly looked away from him too and at the group of people, which, from the looks on their faces had obviously seen that 'not so subtle' _**thing**_ that happened between Edward and I.

Emmett cleared his throat and everyones attention was now on him.

"Well, everybody this is Bella," he said smiling goofly at everyone. Great Emmett, state the obvious. Everyone tried to stiffle their laughter.

"Everybody knows that honey," the tall blonde said while shaking her head from side to side and giving him a pitying look. Emmett simply mumbled a simple 'oh' and suddenly found a strong interest in the carpet.

From then on up until the afternoon everything was normal. Normal as in Edward ignored me the entire night, but every now and then I would catch him glance at me.

I felt out of place, don't get me wrong the Cullen family were great even more than great. Even the tall, beautiful blonde Rosalie, who was Emmett's fiance was so nice and didn't ask questions but she kind of knew why I was here. Jasper is Alice's boyfriend and all of them have apparently known eachother since childhood.

I wish I had a close friend or a close anybody even.

It was the way Edward was treating me that hurt the most. It was probably also because not only was I scarred but I was also intruding, robbing his normal Christmas Eve that he would have with his family. In all honesty though, when he saw me on that curb he should have just left me and not brought trouble to him and his family. Because that's what I was; trouble. That's what Charlie told me.

It was strange watching how Edward and his family communicated with eachother. You could see the love and praise rolling off of Carlisle and Esme.

My shoulder had seized to bleed, but it still hurt so much. The old bruises were okay because they were fading turning a sort of yellow-ish colour. The others though, those were black and blue, with my pale skin they were far too obvious, so of course Edward got freaked out and ignored me.

I walked around but tried to stay in the back hoping that nobody would notice me or just ignore me like Edward. No such luck, seeing as I am a new addition to the Cullen family for now, people wanted to get to know the new girl. When people asked questions I tried to avoid them, eventually I sat in a corner in the dining room where there wasn't anybody. I looked out the backyard at the balcony that looked just oh so tempting right now. I wanted to be alone.

I just realised that Forks High hadn't known that the two Cullen boys have a sister. They had been gossiping about the boys but of course, why would girls in such a small town care about there being a new girl, it's the boys they want.

I looked through the huge glass doors into the living room. Edward was laughing while dancing and twirling Alice around and around. Eventually Jasper came along, said something to Edward that caused Edward to scowl and Alice to laugh so hard. I smiled and looked away. They were perfect.

I had no idea that families were actually like this, I had seen it a million times on tv, in movies and shows and in plays and books. Not once did I think that it was like this in _real _life.

I stared off through the glass at the balcony and at the moon. I was thinking about going out there when the chair next to mine was pushed back and I looked over at Carlisle, sitting there and looking out at the moon with me.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" he said while still staring out but glancing at me quickly.

"Yeah," I whispered. It truly was beautiful, I could stare at it forever. Carlisle cleared his throat and I looked over at him.

"Bella we need to talk about...you." I stared at him, I knew I would have to tell him, I mean I am taking over his home in a way. But I wasn't ready to say anything about Charlie, I don't think I will ever be ready to tell anybody anything.

"You know, could you tell me why you were out on your own?"

"I, um, Carlisle I want to tell you, I do," I said looking at him. "But I can't." he looked away at the dark sky.

"Well Bella, I need to know some things that are essential." he said in an authoritive tone.

"I can tell you some things but not why I was outside, I'm sorry I just can't." I said looking out. "Maybe some day, just not now." I added even though I knew it was a lie, I wasn't going to tell Carlisle anything.

"Do you have parents?"

"I used to." I whispered still not looking at him.

"How do you mean you 'used to' ? Look Bella I want to keep you in my family." I gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. His words ringing in my ears, he wanted to keep me in his family, in his family. " But I can't do that if you have parents somewhere out there worrying about you and this is going to involve a lot of paper work and signing."

"I don't have parents," I mumbled. "But Carlisle I appreciate you trying to be kind and everything, but I don't want to be a burden. And I can't run away from my past, because it's everywhere." And it was true. Charlie is the chief of police, in this stupid small town I can't run away from him. "You can just put me in an orphanage." I said. He looked angry when I said that.

"When a person is given the choice between an orphanage and a family, who would choose the orphanage Bella?" he whispered. Tears were building in my eyes and they were going to spill any second now.

"I would, I don't want to be a burden Carlisle." I repeated my voice breaking.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," he said sighing. "You are not and will not be a burden, _never _will be. If I can help -Which I don't see why I can't- I will, but I'm going to need you to sign a few papers. You're what, seventeen?" I nodded. "Well, when you turn eighteen you can move out, if you still don't want to stay. How 'bout it?" he asked smiling.

Tears that had been threatening to spill over rolled down my cheeks and onto the small smile that had found it's way to my lips. I was over the moon, thrilled, excited, ecstatic, joyfull and there just weren't enough words to describe exactly how I felt when Carlisle so willingly opened his arms to me to live in his home.

There was a big crash inside, Carlisle and I looked through the glass doors to find a tipsy Emmett laying flat on his back. I chuckled a little, turns out Emmett is a tiny bit _too _tipsy to notice that the glass doors were actually _shut_.

Everybody around him was laughing except Rosalie who was trying very hard not to laugh, although she did slip up every now and then and she would chuckle. I thought I heard Carlisle mutter "That's my boy" and I looked at him to see him smiling at Emmett on the floor.

The laugh that caught my attention though and rang over everybody elses was Edward's, but it wasn't enough to just hear it I wanted to _see _him laugh.

When I looked up though he was staring at me so intensely that I coudln't bring myself to look away. He was staring at me his eyes so full of emotion. Okay weird, just a while ago he wouldn't even look at me, let alone stare at me with... I don't know what it was in his eyes. But suddenly it was just Edward and Bella, nobody else was in the room.

No, he was messing with me, and yet I couldn't look away, like my eyes were glued to Edward and Edward only. Emmett trying to get back up broke us from our little staring competition, with his stumbling. Emmett was up and laughing with everybody else, he stumbled over to Rosalie, where he almost fell again but she and Edward held him up. Everybody went back to dancing, laughing and some chatting.

I turned back to Carlisle, to find him staring at me with one raised eyebrow. Clearly he had noticed the staring. I looked away quickly, and got up to go out to the balcony. I heard Carlisle behind me. I held onto the white wooden banisters and leaning over to look at the river.

I also noticed that the balcony runs around the entire house and that this was only the back of it. I looked out at the trees, I quickly rubbed at my cheaks where tear marks had been, that's why Edward had been staring at me.

"I won't say anything," Carlisle said and I guessed he was reffering to what he had seen.

"So..." he said and I realised that I hadn't answered his question. But I also couldn't rub out the fact that Edward couldn't look at me, from my mind this morning. How do you live in the same house as somebody that can't even tolerate you?

"Carlisle, what about everybody else?" I asked looking up at him.

"Oh, I talked to them already they don't mind, their quite thrilled actually," he said smiling. What I really wanted to know was, did _Edward _want me to stay?

"Um, Carlisle, does-does Edw-" I couldn't say it and I was blushing furiously. I don't know if it was because I was afraid of what I was going to be told or because it was Edward's _dad _that I was asking.

"Edward was really happy when I told him Bella," I looked up and blushed even more if that was possible. I guess I wasn't very good at hiding my curiousity. But Carlisle just smiled and kept looking at me.

"Uh, yes Carlisle," I said beaming.

"Yes?" he asked smiling even though he already knew what I meant.

"Yes, I do want to stay with your family. " I said smiling widely. When I turn eighteen I can leave and then I won't be a bother, so just a year. I could do that... I think.

"Perfect," he said. "Esme is going to be thrilled." And just like that he ran back inside to Esme.

"Wow," I mumbled to myself. I am going to stay in the Cullens home. The only problem is that people will find out and the news will be everywhere, and Charlie will know. I just hope he pretends I don't exist or something. It's only one year I will live with them, and then when I'm older I will just leave the whole town.

I held onto the banisters, and craned my neck to look up at the sky. Right then I wanted it to rain, I wanted to feel the wetness on my skin, the beginning of a new start, I loved the rain and right now I just wanted it to lash.

I laughed lightly because I don't know if it was coincidence or just because somebody up there read my mind, but it started to rain and I relished in it. I smiled and closed my eyes.

It seemed as though my bad mood with Edward had begun to dissipate.

Without pondering what I was doing, I laughed again and spun around and around enjoying the rain splashing my face, it was pouring now. I kept turning which wasn't very smart considering I've got two left feet and was getting very dizzy.

I was suddenly losing my balance and my arms were flayling around me trying desperately to grab onto something, anything. I knew I was going to fall now. Or so I thought until about a second later when _his _hands reached out and wrapped around my waist steadying me.

Yes, I knew it was Edward I felt the difference, the gentleness yet firmness, softness yet roughness it was a combination of both and it was beautiful. And God, I was _not _just thinking that. Get a grip Bella!

My eyes were still shut.

I could feel Edward's breath near my ear, breathing heavely. Figures, did he run to catch me? How long has he been standing there. Oh dear God, please tell me he did not see me laugh and dance and completely embarasse myself.

I slowly opened my eyes to find Edward's forest green eyes staring intently into mine. Oh, I did not expect him to be this close. I could feel the blush creeping up to my cheeks.

I didn't move an inch because I felt that if I moved that look in his eyes would leave too.

I was supposed to be mad at Edward, but I couldn't bring myself to be mad anymore, just like I couldn't bring myself to leave the safety of his arms still wrapped around me.

So I just stood and stared into his eyes, like his were staring into mine. I don't know what he saw there but it made him frown sadly. I didn't want to see him frown.

I reached a hand out in between us and slowly lifted it to his face to soften out the crease in his forehead. The second I touched his forhead he sighed and closed his eyes shut, but then he squinted looking as if he was in pain and I quickly pulled my hand back and looked away trying to get out of his arms.

"No Bella, it's not you," he whispered his voice breaking. He was trying to hold me in place and still looking at me with that same emotion, only now there was pain in his eyes too. What was causing it though. Edwards' eyes were beginning to water, and it was unbearable.

"Edward...," I said. "What's wrong?"

**If I got anything wrong with the whole papers and stuff then just go with it, because I'm not really sure.**

**Favourite parts? Worst parts? Let me know!**


	5. Wondering

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**A/N: Again, thank you so much for all the reviews :) Especially jojobear33, your review made my day, thanks ^.^**

**Song for chapter: Wondering by Good Charlotte. I think it goes really good with this chapter.**

**Chapter Five: Wondering**

**EPOV**

"Edward...," she whispered. "What's wrong?"

What's wrong? She's asking me what's wrong? Everything is.

I couldn't comprehend how anyone could do that to someone so small and just so fragile. She didn't deserve that kind of pain and I wanted to hunt down and kill the motherfucker that inflicted this pain I was seeing not only on her body but in her eyes. I had this uncomrehendable urge to protect this girl standing infront of me, and I couldn't for the life of me understand why.

"Edward," she repeated. "Please talk to me."

I couldn't look at her, it pained me to see those bruises and those scars that were covering almost every inch of her body. Seeing her in that towel at first really...well it _affected _me greatly. I couldn't help the way my body reacted to Bella, she was a beautiful girl no matter how many scars covered her body, that was undeniable.

I was trying to avoid her at first only because I was shocked, I didn't _know _what to say to her if I did talk to her. And I was just too... angry to be anywhere near, I needed time to digest seeing her the way she was. I knew that I would completely lose it in front of her and that was the last thing I wanted to do. God knows what comes out of my mouth when I'm angry or nervous about something. Esme always told me it was sweet whereas Alice, Jazz, Em and Rose always laughed at me about.

I was brought out of my reverie by Bella pulling out of my arms. No, I didn't want her to do that. What was she doing?

Then I realised I had never answered her.

"Seriously," she said stepping out of my arms and walking towards the banisters. "Did I do something?" she continued with her back to me.

"I mean please if I did tell me, I'll fix it. But if the way you're acting around me now is because... is because you regret picking me up off that curb last night, well then I'm sorry but then you shouldn't have done that. I still can't understand why you did." she said in confusion.

She wasn't seriously thinking that, was she?

"Bella," I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding. "How could you ever think that? I would _never _regret bringing you home last night."

Bella turned slowly but kept looking at the ground.

I laughed humorlessly, "Hell, that was probably the first right thing I've done in a really long time."

Bella seemed to be frozen, she was still staring at the ground no emotion on her face.

"Bella," I said trying to get her attention, nothing. Did I say something wrong, maybe I was too forward, I was wasn't I? Shit.

"Bella." I repeated louder.

It was still raining heavely, her hair was matted and pressing against her neck and shoulders. Oh my God and all that's holy her _clothes_... I gulped. Her V neck sweater was soaked through and was sticking to her body, it was becoming see through and God, she was going to be the death of me. I shifted uncomfortably.

Think, think Edward, you scared the poor girl.

"Bella come on you're scaring me."

Then she looked up abruptly, as if breaking from a deep, deep thought. Her deep set brown eyes looked into mine, she scared me. I didn't like the look in her eyes, they weren't the warm chocolate pools that they had been at first. The hurt and pain was still there but I never, not once, expected that they would ever leave her. But it wasn't just that, they were cold and emotionless, she was drawing back from me that much was obvious.

Edward you complete dumb fuck. What did I do? I fucked up everything.

Bella looked me straight in the eye and said, "Edward, I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time." What? What was she talking about, this isn't making any sense.

"I promise I'll get out of your way." she continued her voice cold and empty.

When I just continued to stare at her she lifted her head confidently and tried to walk past me to go inside. Looking at her then she looked to be at her strongest, the strongest I've seen her since last night. But who was I kidding? What was I playing at? Clearly I don't know Bella because this a side to her that I hadn't seen until now. I knew _nothing _about her. I don't know how I convinced myself to think I did.

But I couldn't. I couldn't let her leave, not like this, not with that cold comment. I could fix it, I could try to change what I said, seeing as it clearly upset her. What did I say wrong though?

"Bella no." I said as I grabbed her around her waist as she was about to walk by me, she stiffened immediately. The fact that I caused her to clench up in fear hurt more than it should.

"Bella I want to help you." I pleaded.

She looked up at me and glared.

"I don't need your help, I'm doing fine on my own." she said strongly, not once did her voice falter but we both new the second she uttered those words that they were a lie.

"That's not true Bella and you know it." I said frustrated with her now.

"Who the hell are you and what makes you think that I can't take of myself? I've been doing fine on my own for longer than you can imagine. You don't even know me, so don't you _dare_ act like you do." she sneered.

I sighed, she was right I didn't know her but she won't even let me know her.

"I don't know you Bella, but I really do only want to h-" she cut me off angerly.

"I said you don't fucking know me." I stared at her in shock, Bella hadn't once cussed. She just wasn't a girl that should cuss, she was too inocent for that, too pure.

"Do _not _cuss." I said just as angry and she stared at me aghast.

"Now you're telling me what the _fuck _to do? Seriously Edward, you're just _fucking _pathetic, happy? I say whatever the _fuck _I want to say." she said shoving my chest after every 'fuck'.

"I said don't cuss Bella."

"Ugh," she screamed. "You are so infuriating." I tried to hold in my laugh, but I was finding it very hard. She was simply too adorable for her own good, she looked like an angry kitten.

"Yeah, smirk you asshole." she muttered again trying to walk by me, but I held her back again.

"You kiss your mother with a mouth like that Bella?" I asked teasingly.

Although, I was _not _expecting her reaction. Before I knew what was happening, Bella's hand flew back and she slapped me. Bella slapped me.

"What the fuck Bella?" I said angerly staring at her in shock.

"Don't you dare mention my mother." she huffed breathing heavily and glaring at me

"God, Bella will you just stop and listen to me for two seconds? I don't know how this conversation got to here, all I was trying to tell you from the beginning was that you could trust me. That's it." I told her, I was really starting to get impatient with her now.

She continued to glare at me, "I do not trust you and I have no reason to."

Now I was the one glaring at her, "You don't trust me Bella and you don't have a reason to? Is this a joke? That is absolutely pathetic, I can't believe you, how can you even say that?"

"I'm pathetic now? You kn-" I cut her off before she could continue.

"Bella I never said you were pathetic, I was refering to what you said."

"I don't even know why I'm bothering with this. Look Edward seeing as I'm going to be here for a while I'll stay out of your way and you stay out of mine. That way maybe we can atleast act normal in front of everyone."

I couldn't believe this, I was losing her before I even really had her, and she didn't trust me? That still hurt so much. Growing up, Esme always told me that everybody needed somebody to trust, or else one of these days they won't be able to handle being on their own any longer and they would eventually combust. Is that what would happen to Bella?

No, I won't let it. I'll be there, she _will _eventually trust me.

"Bella be reasonable." I said almost pleading, I never thought I would plead with any girl but then again there were a lot of things I thought I wouldn't do before Bella.

"Great," she mumbled to herself. "Now the dousche is calling me unreasonable."

"Bella, I didn't-"

"No Edward," she said sternly. "Lets stick to what I said, you stay out of my way and I out of yours, I know this is your home Edward and I will always be grateful that you brought me here but I can see that we just don't get along." she finished and walked by me and pushed the glass doors open as she stepped in I saw Esme run up to her fussing and waving her arms, I'm sure about Bella's wet condition.

I sighed, walked up to the banisters, I lay my elbows and bent my head into my hands, I ran my hands through my hair in frustration.

Well, that went well. Now I'll be living with Bella and not be able to actually talk to her and get to know her, like I wanted to... still do.

She won't be able to keep that strong front on for too long, one of these days Bella isn't going to be able to handle what she's going through (whatever that is) and she is going to come to me and I'll only be so glad to help her. She's going to snap eventually, but I didn't want her to have to go through all that pain until she realises she does need someone. That's exactly why I was arguing with her.

"_Damn _it Bella." I muttered to myself.

"Talkin' to yourself? Now that can't be good. Infact they say it's the first sign of insanity." Jasper said, coming up to stand beside me his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his face.

"Ugh, no... I mean yeah. Shit, I don't know. I thought the first sign of insanity is talking to yourself and then _answering _yourself?" I asked trying to avoid him asking what I knew he was going to ask.

"Same thing applies dude."

"Right," I said looking out into the forest. "Then I guess I am insane and if not then I'm not far from it."

"So..." Jasper said looking at me promptly.

"So what?" I asked feigning ignorance.

"Dude, seriously just spit out." he said annoyed now. "We're not fucking girls, so just talk already... or should I go get ice cream." he teased

Typical Jasper behaviour, no beating around the bush just straight to the point and teasing.

I huffed, not knowing how to tell him this.

"Well, start by explainin' why you were sayin' 'damn it Bella' when I came out here." Jasper said as if reading my mind.

"Well, I don't know she just... she's so... so infuriating. I mean I want to help that's all and she can't accept that, and I get that we don't know eachother and I might of been a bit forward, but that doesn't mean she can just get pissed and then start fucking cussing at me right and left, then going as far as fucking _slapping_ me. Jasper, Bella _slapped _me. Can you believe that?" I was ranting and I knew that but I also knew that I was going to fucking explode if I didn't say anything to anyone. I was still finding it hard to believe.

I looked over at Jasper to see him fighting a laugh, just perfect.

"Man, don't laugh. I'm fucking serious." I growled.

"Alright, alright well... whatcha' do to make 'er slap you Eddie?" he asked and I tried to let the dumb nickname slide for now, only because I had more important things on my mind.

"Shit, all I did was ask her if she kissed her mother with a filthy mouth like that, and dude this girl can cuss like no other." I said shaking my head and remembering the sting on my left cheek from where she slapped me.

"Lello ladies!" Emmett shouted as he walk- I mean stumbled over to us. "Anynony lilling tttoo get der drrrink on?" OK, he is too drunk. What the hell did he just say?

I was quite concerned whereas Jasper found this hilarious. I looked at Jasper an eyebrow raised in question.

"I think he wants to know if we want to get our drink on?" Jasper said chuckling.

"God, Emmett you need to put that bottle away, I think you've had enough." I said walking towards him and trying to grab the bottle from his hand.

"Ooooh, loook it's schnowing." Emmett said while twirling and looking up at the sky.

"Man, it's rain not snow." I said.

"Duhhh, buuttt ya can't really saayy it'sss schraining. Ha, ha it'sss schraining... I- I like zaaat." he slurred then broke into a song "It'sss schraaaining man...". Ugh, I seriously do not want to put up with a drunk Emmett, especially right now. Jasper seeming to have read my thoughts as he said, "Go inside, I'll deal with Demmitt here."

"Demmitt?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

"Drunk Emmett." he replied shrugging.

"Ah, I see. Alright, thanks man."

As I opened the glass doors and stepped into the warmth of the house, I started searching. I caught Esme and Carlisle dancing in the far corner of the room, Alice was chatting with Rosalie and I couldn't see Bella anywhere.

That's good, isn't it? Then maybe if she's on her own she would be willing to talk about... about how we were right now. She didn't really expect me to stay away from her, she couldn't. Apart from us living in the same house and going to the same school, well... tomorrow _is _Christmas. Maybe that will loosen her up a bit.

I was just about to step out of the sitting room when Esme stopped me, her arms waving about and she looked like she was trying to somehow wrap her arms around me.

"Gosh honey, you're soaked. What were you doing standing out in the rain for so long, poor Bella came in looking like a drowned cat."

"Yeah, I know uhmm, I'm going to change right now." I said, heading upstairs.

"Ok, go on honey." she said looking at me with worry in her eyes. I smiled at her reasuringly, when that didn't seem to help I walked up to her, kneeled down to her level and kissed her forehead.

"Don't worry mom, I'll be fine. I'm just a little wet."

She seemed to believe me, but as I walked away I heard her mutter something like 'I really hope he doesn't catch a cold...'

I smiled to myself and shook my head slowly, my mother worried too much, but that alone made me love her even more. She was the best mother any guy could ask for. Carlisle and Esme loved Emmett and I like no other, even though Emmett was adopted they never treated either of us differently.

As I reached the hallway upstairs I walked down to my room; the last one on the right. I had just reached out to open my door when I heard sniffling coming from the room across from mine. Bella's room.

I hesitated before walking towards the door, do I go in?

Did I make her cry?

_...we just don't get along._

Bella's words from earlier rang through my head. I sighed, my hand on the doorknob. I took a deep breath and knocked.

I heard her sniffling stop followed by some shuffling and then her small feet padding across the carpet to the door. I held my breath as she opened it.

There stood Bella in pajamas, she looked tired. Completely and utterly worn out, her eyes were bloodshot and the skin under her eyes a bit blotchy. It pained me to see her like this, and to think that _I _may be the cause of those tears. I was such an asshole.

"Bella..." I whispered, my voice sounded strangled even to my own ears.

"What do you want Edward?" she said her voice sounding defeated. God, I want to help you Bella. I'll beg if I have to but please just talk to me. That's what I _wanted _to say to her, but I was too chicken shit to say anything, afraid she might get pissed and just shut the door.

"A-are you ok?" I asked. So fucking stupid, clearly she's not ok. I just didn't know what to say to her.

As I said this though, more tears build in her eyes and were about to spill over.

"No, no Bella. Please, don't cry. I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry." I told her desperately. I didn't want to make her cry even more, it... it _pained _me to see her cry.

"Now who's cussing?" she said jokingly, trying to change the subject quite obviously.

"I guess you're right," I chuckled. "I really am sorry Bella."

"No, it's not you're fault Edward, I was a bitch and what I said was completely uncalled for. It wasn't my place to demand anything of you, after everything you have done for me. So, _I'm _sorry." she said while staring at the floor.

I was staring at her, mouth wide open. She was apologising? Bella was apologising to me after what I was like to her? I was just about to tell her she did nothing wrong and that I shouldn't have pushed her, but she started speaking again.

"Oh, and sorry I guess for slapping you."

"Yeah," I laughed. "That hurt."

She looked up at me sheepishly, but I smiled at her assuring her that I was over it.

"Well, you should just not talk about my mother," she said. "That way, I won't be slapping you anytime soon."

"Sure, but then again, I don't think I would mind if you slapped me again seeing as when you did it I got a very nice view of your ti-" she cut me off before I could continue her eyes wide with shock.

"Do not even finish that sentence Cullen." she said narrowing her eyes at me, but she couldn't hide the shock that was still evident in her eyes. Then again I was quite shocked too, I don't know where that came from. That just wasn't me, Carlisle and Esme raised me to be a gentleman and treat all girls with respect. Suddenly, Bella comes along and I'm beginning to say exactly what comes to my mind. Here I was about to tell her about how I enjoyed her slapping me, only because it gave me a good view of her tits? Oh, God.

I threw my head back and laughed.

"God, you are strange..." Bella muttered under her breath, I chose to ignore that.

"Ok," Bella continued. "Time for mister smiles to leave."

"Mister smiles?" I asked, unable to hide the amusement from my voice.

"Yeah, you're always smiling. Sometimes, I don't even think you realise it." she said matter of factly.

"Well," I said, my voice coming out husky. "That just means that I'm thinking about you baby." I continued leaning towards her. I was teasing but it was the truth, I _was _thinking about her. Is it me or did her breathing just hitch?

"Edward!" she exclaimed, and I couldn't help but tease her some more, she just made it too easy,

"Say my name baby." I said wiggling my eyebrows at her suggestively.

"Oh, my, God," she muttered rubbing her face with one hand. "You are crazy, now leave. I'm tired and want to sleep."

I laughed but turned my back to walk to my room, when I stepped into my room I stopped and called Bella.

"What?" she said exasperatedly.

"I'm crazy about you honey, oh and dream sweet dreams and may I starr in them all." I laughed at the expression on her face, turned and shut my door.

I was leaning against the door when I realised something.

"Fuck." I muttered to myself. This girl was changing me and I wasn't even realising it. Atleast she wasn't crying anymore though, right?

**Ok, sorry about the tiny delay, I was quite busy, there was a wedding and stuffs :) **

**Anyway, I love to know what you guys think so let me know. You're favourite parts, worst parts and so on... **

**I know Bella seems a bit more daring but that will be explained when it's her pov. **

**Thanks for reading :)**


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